Your Purpose In Motherhood: Reclaiming Your Path
Written by Amber Parr Burdett
It’s so easy to focus on the list of things that need to get done and get caught up in the chaos of motherhood that we think those monotonous moments reflect the entirety of our reality. But what if those moments are merely a reflection of the stories we tell ourselves? What if, deep down, we’re yearning to rediscover who we truly are, beyond the roles we play? How do we actually begin the journey of reclaiming our path?
Do you ever find yourself caught up in the daily responsibilities of motherhood, losing sight of your own identity?
Shaping Our Perspectives
I’m a mom, something I’ve always wanted to be. Years ago, when I looked at how I wanted motherhood to look, I saw myself with four or five children. I saw myself working part-time until the kids were in school and then I would work full time—while still helping with the classroom activities and being a very hands-on mom. I saw what I wanted motherhood to look like.
But, getting pregnant with my baby girl took longer than I expected, and pregnancy was hard—that made me think about being pregnant three more times… When Maddie Rae got here, I was elated, but my body and hormones took a long time to regulate. I felt stuck in my reality. I loved my child and husband more than anything, so I felt guilty for not feeling happy about life and enjoying each moment. I allowed myself to get lost in the monotony of motherhood, which made me rethink what being a mom was supposed to look like.
It’s natural to get sucked into our own perceptions of reality, but it’s important to allow yourself to recognize these thoughts aren’t definitive truths. By acknowledging that our perceptions are malleable, we become empowered to reshape our perspectives and reclaim our lives.
Challenging Self-Imposed Limitations
The first year of my child’s life, I was giving every moment to being a mom. Even when she was sleeping, I was obsessed with completing the list of things I told myself that I needed to get done for the day, even if that list was unrealistic and impossible to accomplish. I refused to allow myself time for things I wanted to do, and in so doing, I didn’t even know what I liked doing anymore.
Too often, we internalize societal expectations and self-imposed limitations, constraining ourselves within narrow definitions of success and fulfillment. However, true growth begins when we challenge these boundaries, embracing the uncertainty of self-discovery and allowing ourselves to evolve beyond predefined roles.
I found myself convinced that I was just a mom and could only do things that centered around my child—leaving my own progression through life to not only take the backseat but completely halt. And, I was not happy with who I was becoming. I was at a crossroads in my life and needed to decide whether to let go of the perception of motherhood I envisioned before I was even a mom or to stay stuck in those self-imposed limitations. I decided to start the journey of rediscovering who I was as a mother and as a person. I decided to reclaim my life while balancing my new role as a mom. But, how could I do this?
Cultivating Authenticity
Rediscovering ourselves requires a commitment to authenticity—the courage to explore our passions, interests, and desires without fear of judgment or comparison by those around us but even more importantly by ourselves. By prioritizing authenticity, we honor our unique journeys and pave the way for genuine self-fulfillment.
I had to accept that I was a different person than before I became “mom,” so I needed to discover what hobbies I now enjoyed in this phase of my life—even if it meant accepting that I may no longer enjoy hobbies I once loved.
Embracing Imperfection
I needed to be honest with myself and be open to trying new experiences. But the problem was I didn’t like failing. I didn’t want to try something new that I might not be good at.
In the pursuit of self-rediscovery, it’s essential to embrace imperfection as an inherent part of the human experience. Rather than striving for unattainable perfection, find liberation in accepting ourselves, flaws and all, and embracing the beauty of our imperfect journeys.
This is a thought process I have been trying to embrace for the past year now. While I’ve tried many new things and failed at a lot of them, I am allowing myself to be open to failing. I have not mastered this perception of imperfection, so I am in no way saying that it is easy. However, I am saying this is one way to reclaim your journey and yourself.
Written by Amber Parr Burdett
Conclusion
Reclaiming our journey of self-rediscovery is a deeply personal and transformative process—one that requires courage, vulnerability, and a willingness to embrace the unknown. As mothers, we owe it to ourselves to break free from the constraints of societal expectations, challenge the stories we tell ourselves, and embark on a journey of authentic self-exploration. By reclaiming our paths, we not only rediscover the essence of who we are but also pave the way for a life filled with purpose, fulfillment, and boundless self-discovery.
I would love to hear your journey as a mother. Feel free to email me at amber@burdett.us or reach out via Instagram @moral.mothering and share your experiences, worries, or things you would like to know more about. You are not alone on this journey of rediscovery.